Hormones or post partum depression?

PPD works differently for everyone. You could have ups and downs, or you could be depressed for weeks on end. I think this may be a combination of both PPD, and maybe some depression you were already dealing with. Either way, I always feel like depression in general is something YOU have to pull yourself out of. I dont believe a pill is going to help you. Maybe try seeking some counseling, see if that helps. But even you said so yourself, you were able to get over it basically on your own when you were a teen. Try and do the same now, just tell yourself "This is bull s#!t, I have a gorgeous baby now and I am NOT going to ruin these precious moments I have with him/her! I am going to be happy starting NOW!!"